Hank Lazard
Born in 1968, the geographic location of Hank's early years are unknown, although Hank himself has claimed Baltimore, San Francisco and Red Hook, Brooklyn as early childhood hometowns. The next 32 years of Hank's life are also somewhat of a mystery.
In the summer of 2001, Hank Lazard met Jason in a chance encounter at the Winn Dixie in Mountain Brook outside of Birmingham, AL. Hank was attempting to buy 8 cases of Grapico soda. The soda was on sale, but there was a 4 case limit. Hank claimed to recognize Jason, then asked to borrow 20 dollars.
In the fall of 2001, Hank became co-host of The Famous Ashtray. Hank was originally hired to broaden the scope of the show by providing a comprehensive sports review. The segment was named Knuckleballs and Punt Returns: A Sports Odyssey. The segment never lived up to expectations as Hank would merely recap the past Saturdays race results at the Birmingham Race Course. This quickly degenerated into stories of what happened to him at the track, then what happened to him over the weekend, then became a mere rant against people he didn't like. Also during fall, Hank joined the Raelean Cult claiming that science is the religion of the future.
In the winter/spring of 2002, Hank retained his title as co-host of The Famous Ashtray. Given his failed attempt at sports reporting, Knuckleballs and Punt Returns: A Sports Odyssey was canceled and replaced with a segment where Hank was free to complain about anything. The segment was called Nuts from Nards. Most of this segment was dedicated to describing products that could be purchased from Arby's.
In the summer of 2002 Hank continued at Blazeradio as co-host of The Famous Ashtray. Nuts from Nards was canceled. Hank was given a new segment with no rules or expectations. The segment was called The San Francisco Dump. Content varied from insulting Don Criqui to insulting ALF.
In the fall of 2002, Jason left The Famous Ashtray to focus on other endeavors. After no one immediately took over the monday night time slot at Blazeradio, Hank volunteered to take over the show. The name was changed to The Teenager Robot. A new policy at Blazeradio restricted the music to dance music. Hank frequently played Cher's "Believe". Also during the short span of The Teenager Robot, Hank dropped out of the Raelean cult (after finding out they believed in aliens), met Jesus at the Birmingham Race Course (who provided a winning Quinella tip off). The Teenager Robot was discontinued after the fall of 2002.
In the fall of 2004, Hank began a career as a stand-up comedian. His first show was in the basement of BBC headquarters (1138 Columbiana Rd.). In addition to stand-up Hank has perpetually been working on two "soon to be best selling" books tentatively titled "How's come?" and "I mean come on...". His stand-up consists mainly of jokes and "famous jokes", where Hank allows the audience to participate. Hank's stand up has continued throughout the past year where he has performed in more than one state and more than three locations, including BBC headquarters, the Black Black house, Hot L Birmingham, and George and Kyle's. Hank continues to perform, mainly in the Birmingham area, and has added his famous inventions, skits, and psychic demonstrations to his act.
In the fall of 2005, Hank began his podcast with Jason and Rodney, two acquaintances from Blazaradio. Hank continues to star in this weekly podcast where he hides treasures, gives gambling tips, answers fanmail, writes a weekly soap opera, among other things.
